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Libido, Shame, & Hormones

Yup, I'm jumping right in! I went looking for a solution to my 0 sex drive 5 years ago. Every doctor said having a low libido was just normal. I tried every supplement, doing IT more, marriage counseling, and resorted to wine. It did not feel good having to get a bit tipsy to get my body to be available for my husband.

Fast forward 4 years when I miraculously was introduced to hormone therapy and 4 months into Testosterone and my body ZINGED on! I didn't know what to do with this new desire. My body had never wanted sex at this level. I had never felt like I NEEDED IT, like RIGHT NOW...take my pants off, move the laundry over!

With an increase in libido came a bizarre level of shame. I had been taught that being sexual was inappropriate. Sex felt like a chore. It felt like something I was giving up or was happening to me. I had never felt inspired or empowered by being sexual. I didn't know there were physical and mental benefits to orgasm. I didn't know that having desire and passion pulsing through my body would make me feel vibrant and ALIVE!

Having a new desire pumping through my body forced me to deconstruct the shame. I started listening to new podcasts and books about sex, forcing myself to listen to very uncomfortable new ideas. It was the first time I heard women talk about sexual acts and desire with pride and passion and even inspiration. They discussed sexual activities like talents that lit up their souls and inspired confidence and connection in themselves and their partner. I could get on board with this!!!

I practiced self pleasure until there was no shame, just all the amazing benefits. Better sleep, reduced pain...have a headache?...there is a TOY for that. Reduced anxiety, increased connection with my body, it even increases Testosterone which does a million things!


I have had the privilege of witnessing thousands of women turn their libido back on, I've concluded that libido should not be measured by the amount of sex you want or have. Libido should be measured by how vibrant and fun you feel. Your spice for life, the bounce in your step, the emotion you feel listening to music, the humming you do just around the house, the amount of presence you feel around your friends. How often you giggle. The little sassy secret behind your eyes. The desire and passion to LIVE! That is LIBIDO.

Instead, doctors treat us like we are an appliance that just needs a little lube to work properly. Or that it's our job and we should just do it anyway. YOUR LIBIDO IS FOR YOU TO FEEL AWAKE & ALIVE.

When you have an independent desire for pleasure, suddenly sharing that with someone you care about becomes a new thing. Now it's not a chore, it becomes a fun thing to do, an experience to share, a fulfillment of something you long for. THAT IS WAY WAY BETTER!!!

There are a few ways to turn your libido back on:

Testosterone, requires a prescription and comes in creams, injections, or pellets. (Find a provider to prescribe it at

DHEA, a non-prescription supplement that helps to increase Testosterone.

(We love SEXY from Radiate Wellness use code WAKEHERUP for 15% off)

ADDYI, requires a prescription. It's known as the pink pill for women. If you talk to your doctor about your lack of sex drive ask them to prescribe ADDYI or Testosterone.

I've put together some of my favorite books and products that have added to this fun new pleasure in an Amazon Shop. I hope they help WAKE HER UP!

If you feel like something is missing, it's probably you! ❤️Marcella Hill


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